[Warning – this is a very personal post so if you’re not interested in that sort of thing or you have an aversion to a very rare moment of niceness from me, then don’t read this!!]
Ok, so now you’re either reading out of curiosity or because you are genuinely interested in my life. Whichever it is, please respect that this is a personal post.
Normal service will resume after this post.
The reason for this post is simple – today (4th October 2011) marks my first anniversary with my boyfriend Chris.
Now, for most of you, you’ll think “oh pah, one year, that’s nothing”.
But for me, it’s quite an achievement. You see, for a variety of reasons, I am a total commitment-phobe.
Not that I couldn’t be committed to one person of course, I have never had a problem with that. Just that I hadn’t found someone that I wanted to allow to be involved in the rest of my life. I tend to live a rather compartmentalised life – there’s family, then there’s work, then there’s my social life, then there’s my online life etc.
They don’t always cross over. And I often like it that way.
Let me take you back by 13 months.
We started emailing each other through Facebook (we had mutual friends in common), and all was going well. However, there were a few things that didn’t work for me (you know how people have a list of what they want in a partner? I had one of what I didn’t want – it was quite a short list, but still).
So while I was happy being friendly and chatting, I really didn’t think anything would ever happen, particularly when I discovered these things (oh, ok, I’ll give you an example – Chris smokes and has a child from a previous relationship – as I hate children, I couldn’t ever imagine being with someone that had children as it just isn’t how I want to live my life. Selfish, yes, but also honest. And the smoking thing – well, I imagine most non-smokers feel that way about smoking).
But I digress.
We were getting on well via email, so I eventually let Chris have my mobile number. More texting and emailing ensued, and then the inevitable “so, when shall we meet up then?”
Now, at this point, I should confess that while I love a little bit of flirting and banter with people, I can rarely be bothered to make it into anything more. I’ve been on my fair share of disastrous dates (I could probably write a book on some of my more ‘entertaining’ ones), and so I really wasn’t interested on going on another.
This was different though. Instead of constantly pestering me to meet up, Chris left that subject alone for a while.
I respected that. Most people, if they don’t get what they want pretty much straight away, get bored and go off elsewhere. I was obviously worth the wait (oh come on, nothing wrong with a little self-promotion, and Chris has said that himself!).
Anyway, we carried on chatting, I was still thinking “well, nothing will come of this because of these issues I have with certain things” but we were getting on well so I didn’t want to stop chatting.
Eventually I agreed to go around and have a cup of tea. Not go on a formal ‘date’ as we both hate that forced situation, but just pop over for a cup of tea & a chat.
I figured – what the hell. I get tea (and we all know how much that pleases me) and it’ll stop Chris from asking me to meet him and then I can draw my own conclusions. Hopefully I’d get a friend out of the whole experience, but who knows.
So after work I went round to his…tea was waiting for me when I got there (brownie point), and we got on like we’d known each other for years. Oh, and I discovered that he had 2 cats – now, as I am a mad cat lady, this gave huge bonus brownie points! We chatted, chilled and drank tea for most of the evening, and time flew by. Very surprising for me!
I went back round a couple of days later and Chris had made me a present – you’ve all seen my Purple Minxy Witch logo? Chris had taken that (I’d been talking about it on Facebook at the time) and had got it printed on to a t-shirt for me. I was amazed at such a thoughtful and personal present – here was someone that clearly understood I was mad!
Anyway, fast forward a year, and we’ve been to Rome together, been to concerts, fireworks and weddings together (at one wedding I got given Chris’ surname as well – most amusing!), as well as all sorts of other stuff.
Oh, and as this is being uploaded, we’re in Rome again.
I’ve met some of Chris’ family and he’s met mine (just to give you an idea of how much a big deal that is for me, Chris is only the second boyfriend ever to have met my parents!). He’s helped me move house, looked after me when I’ve been ill, and generally been an absolutely brilliant boyfriend.
We’ve discussed it before – neither of us were looking for a relationship when we found each other, but look where we’ve ended up. Both very happy with each other & our relationship.
If I’d stuck to my “no smokers, no parents” rule then I wouldn’t be with him today, and as he’s been such a great teammate on my journey through this year, I’d have missed out big-time.
I’d said to myself a few years ago that if I were to get into another serious relationship then what I was looking for was a partner in crime (not *actual* crime, obviously!).
Someone to join in on some of the daft things that I do with my time, to support me as I would support them, to laugh and play together…oh, come on, I’m sure you can work on your own definition of ‘partner in crime’ (without the crime bit!!).
We seem to work very well together as a team.
So the moral of this blog post – sometimes you just have to take a chance – no matter how many times you’ve been disappointed and hurt or frustrated.
Oh, and Happy Anniversary Chris…you’ve survived your first year with me as your crazy girlfriend…here’s to many more!
P.S. If you survived all of this without a) dying from boredom or b) hurling into the nearest bucket, then feel free to comment if you wish, or just go and tell someone that you love them (be it a pet, a friend, anyone you truly care about).