Sometimes you should just take a chance…

[Warning – this is a very personal post so if you’re not interested in that sort of thing or you have an aversion to a very rare moment of niceness from me, then don’t read this!!]



Ok, so now you’re either reading out of curiosity or because you are genuinely interested in my life. Whichever it is, please respect that this is a personal post.


Normal service will resume after this post.




The reason for this post is simple – today (4th October 2011) marks my first anniversary with my boyfriend Chris.


Now, for most of you, you’ll think “oh pah, one year, that’s nothing”.


But for me, it’s quite an achievement. You see, for a variety of reasons, I am a total commitment-phobe.


Not that I couldn’t be committed to one person of course, I have never had a problem with that. Just that I hadn’t found someone that I wanted to allow to be involved in the rest of my life. I tend to live a rather compartmentalised life – there’s family, then there’s work, then there’s my social life, then there’s my online life etc.


They don’t always cross over. And I often like it that way.


Let me take you back by 13 months.


We started emailing each other through Facebook (we had mutual friends in common), and all was going well.  However, there were a few things that didn’t work for me (you know how people have a list of what they want in a partner? I had one of what I didn’t want – it was quite a short list, but still).


So while I was happy being friendly and chatting, I really didn’t think anything would ever happen, particularly when I discovered these things (oh, ok, I’ll give you an example – Chris smokes and has a child from a previous relationship – as I hate children, I couldn’t ever imagine being with someone that had children as it just isn’t how I want to live my life. Selfish, yes, but also honest. And the smoking thing – well, I imagine most non-smokers feel that way about smoking).


But I digress.


We were getting on well via email, so I eventually let Chris have my mobile number. More texting and emailing ensued, and then the inevitable “so, when shall we meet up then?”


Now, at this point, I should confess that while I love a little bit of flirting and banter with people, I can rarely be bothered to make it into anything more. I’ve been on my fair share of disastrous dates (I could probably write a book on some of my more ‘entertaining’ ones), and so I really wasn’t interested on going on another.


This was different though. Instead of constantly pestering me to meet up, Chris left that subject alone for a while.


I respected that. Most people, if they don’t get what they want pretty much straight away, get bored and go off elsewhere. I was obviously worth the wait (oh come on, nothing wrong with a little self-promotion, and Chris has said that himself!).


Anyway, we carried on chatting, I was still thinking “well, nothing will come of this because of these issues I have with certain things” but we were getting on well so I didn’t want to stop chatting.


Eventually I agreed to go around and have a cup of tea. Not go on a formal ‘date’ as we both hate that forced situation, but just pop over for a cup of tea & a chat.


I figured – what the hell. I get tea (and we all know how much that pleases me) and it’ll stop Chris from asking me to meet him and then I can draw my own conclusions.  Hopefully I’d get a friend out of the whole experience, but who knows.


So after work I went round to his…tea was waiting for me when I got there (brownie point), and we got on like we’d known each other for years.  Oh, and I discovered that he had 2 cats – now, as I am a mad cat lady, this gave huge bonus brownie points!  We chatted, chilled and drank tea for most of the evening, and time flew by.  Very surprising for me!


I went back round a couple of days later and Chris had made me a present – you’ve all seen my Purple Minxy Witch logo?  Chris had taken that (I’d been talking about it on Facebook at the time) and had got it printed on to a t-shirt for me.  I was amazed at such a thoughtful and personal present – here was someone that clearly understood I was mad!


Anyway, fast forward a year, and we’ve been to Rome together, been to concerts, fireworks and weddings together (at one wedding I got given Chris’ surname as well – most amusing!), as well as all sorts of other stuff.


Oh, and as this is being uploaded, we’re in Rome again.


I’ve met some of Chris’ family and he’s met mine (just to give you an idea of how much a big deal that is for me, Chris is only the second boyfriend ever to have met my parents!). He’s helped me move house, looked after me when I’ve been ill, and generally been an absolutely brilliant boyfriend.


We’ve discussed it before – neither of us were looking for a relationship when we found each other, but look where we’ve ended up. Both very happy with each other & our relationship.


If I’d stuck to my “no smokers, no parents” rule then I wouldn’t be with him today, and as he’s been such a great teammate on my journey through this year, I’d have missed out big-time.


I’d said to myself a few years ago that if I were to get into another serious relationship then what I was looking for was a partner in crime (not *actual* crime, obviously!).


Someone to join in on some of the daft things that I do with my time, to support me as I would support them, to laugh and play together…oh, come on, I’m sure you can work on your own definition of ‘partner in crime’ (without the crime bit!!).


We seem to work very well together as a team.


So the moral of this blog post – sometimes you just have to take a chance – no matter how many times you’ve been disappointed and hurt or frustrated.


Oh, and Happy Anniversary Chris…you’ve survived your first year with me as your crazy girlfriend…here’s to many more!


Nikki xx


P.S. If you survived all of this without a) dying from boredom or b) hurling into the nearest bucket, then feel free to comment if you wish, or just go and tell someone that you love them (be it a pet, a friend, anyone you truly care about).

If you've enjoyed this post, I'd be grateful if you'd share it with your friends or anyone else that you feel it could help.

30 replies
  1. Jacinta D
    Jacinta D says:

    Hi Luvly,

    Aaaaaahhhhhhhh Shucks! Very sweet and sincere.

    I can very much relate to the find someone when you least expect it……

    I met my man over 16 years ago. He was with my flatmate. My flatmate and I had a falling out so I moved out and went my separate ways.

    Six years later my partner had married and divorced my old flatmate, I had been overseas and back, plus lived in other parts of the country and then one fateful night in August 2001 I was swinging around a pole in a nightclub and there was my partner completely un-recognisable staring back at me.

    One month later he told me he had been looking for me since his marriage had broken up. And 3 weeks after that he moved in. 10 years later we have been together ever since and now have a gorgeous 4 year old little girl and concidering I was only passing through town on my way back over seas life did a complete change. 😯

    Sometimes life sends you the people you need and want when you least expect them to turn up. 😉

    Congrats! It sounds like you are blissfully happy!

    Hope you are having an awesome time in Rome.


    Jacinta 😀
    Jacinta D recently posted..Is Your Blog Secure From Hackers?


    Nikki Reply:

    Hey Jacinta,

    Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply!

    Aww that’s a lovely story about how you met your husband – what were the chances of you meeting again like that!! Despite my cynical nature I do love a happy ending.

    Thanks for sharing your story, I really appreciate it.

    Rome was brilliant, we had a great time – I’ll upload some pictures to Facebook over the weekend :)

    Speak soon,



  2. Dawn Kay
    Dawn Kay says:

    Awww that is soooooooooo sweet Nikki and happy anniversary to
    you both.

    I can’t understand the you hate kids bit because I’m a mum and mine mean
    the world to me.

    But I do understand the smoking part because as a non smoker myself the thought of actually having a partner that smokes makes me feel sick (lol)

    You and Chris sound like your so much in love and I’m really glad that you’ve found someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with.

    Have a fab anniversary and I’ll catch ya when you get back

    Dawn Kay recently posted..My First In Front Of Camera Video And An Exclusive Bonus From Sally


    Nikki Reply:

    Hey Dawn,


    No, most people don’t understand my aversion to children; the amount of times I’ve had people say “Oh you’ll change your mind when you get older” – drives me mad! I appreciate that most people do want children; I’m just not one of them, and I’ve always been very open & honest about that.

    The smoking thing – well, Chris doesn’t do it in his house, so actually it’s not too bad – not like I walk into an ashtray every time I go round or anything like that. I don’t think I’d be able to cope with that, so it’s just as well really!!

    We had a great time in Rome, and then we went back to visit my parents over the weekend (at the time of typing this it’s my dad’s birthday), so I’ve had a good week away from the computer. Time to start catching up now though!!

    Speak soon,



  3. David Walker
    David Walker says:

    Hi Nikki,

    It’s strange how these things work out.

    I first met Nicola the day I was let go of my graduate placement scheme as the company was going under – I only went out that night because my friend rang me up and wanted to go clubbing to celebrate his birthday.

    I wasn’t looking for a relationship then either but here we are, almost eight years on and looking forward to our son’s first birthday this December.

    David Walker recently posted..Internet Marketing Secrets From the 19th Century


    Nikki Reply:

    Hey David,

    You’re right, it is strange how these things work out. Look at your story, look at Jacinta’s (first comment here) – these things seem to happen when you least expect them. Yes, it’s a cliche, but it appears it has some foundations!

    Thanks for coming over & sharing your story here.

    Speak soon,



  4. Nigel Yip
    Nigel Yip says:

    Hi Nikki,

    So wonderful and nice of you to share with us all such a wonderful and lovely story about how yourself and Chris met up. Have a fabulous anniversay and catch up with soon on LWS FB soon!!!

    Nigel Yip recently posted..LWS 5 – Video Mania Part 1 – Introduction


    Nikki Reply:

    Hey Nigel,

    I thought for once I’d share something that was very personal – people may or may not like it, but that’s why I put a disclaimer at the top to warn everyone!

    But so far I’ve had a lot of positive comments about this, so I guess the lesson is that people like to hear personal stuff sometimes…maybe it makes me seem more human.

    Catch up with you soon,



  5. igor Griffiths
    igor Griffiths says:

    Great to hear you have found someone you can really let loose with.

    As someone who is going through a divorce at the moment which does not mean I have a downer on relationships, it is in fact totally the opposite.

    All the little things can be compromised but if the openness and mental connections, the partner in crime element, is missing then there as I have found out there is little point in continuing.

    So glad to hear you have found your partner in crime.
    igor Griffiths recently posted..Accepting the Compromise


    Nikki Reply:

    Hey Igor,

    I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through that at the moment. I do understand what you mean though, that ‘partner in crime’ element is crucial for a relationship to survive in my opinion.

    Keep smiling and I hope it all progresses smoothly for you!

    Speak soon,



  6. Mandy@LearnToBlog
    Mandy@LearnToBlog says:

    What you have said here is so true – the best things in life happen when you least expect them to and if you spend your time looking for something you can be sure it only turns up when you stop looking. A great anniversary to celebrate, and many more to look forward to which is lovely.

    Enjoy the journey.

    Mandy@LearnToBlog recently posted..Get More Opt-Ins By Giving Away A Good Gift


    Nikki Reply:

    Hey Mandy,

    Yes, I think we could both say that we’re enjoying the journey. We just take one day at a time but we’ve both talked about how this relationship differs from previous ones that we’ve had.

    At the end of the day, if we’re both providing value to each other’s lives then that can only be a good thing!

    Speak soon,



  7. Ian Ieba
    Ian Ieba says:

    Hi Nikki,

    I think it’s wonderful that you have shared something with us that is so close to your Heart.

    I hope you and Chris (who sounds like a really nice chap, by the way!) continue to have the happiness that you both deserve.

    Evette (my wife) and I have been together 26yrs now, I have 3 wonderful children aged 30yrs, 25yrs, and 22yrs (two boys and a girl) and I also have 2 Grand-Children with another on the way! :)

    I hope you and Chris have a great Anniversary and I wish you many more to come :)

    Take care, catch up soon

    Ian Ieba recently posted..Facebook Secure or Dam Dam Daaaaaaaam? Part 2


    Nikki Reply:

    Hey Ian,

    Yes, it’s not something that I would generally go around sharing, but in this case I thought I’d go for it. Given that I’ve had a lot of positive comments, I’d say it was a good thing that I’ve shared something personal.

    Thanks for your kind words.

    Speak soon,



  8. Barry Wells
    Barry Wells says:

    Hi Nikki, congratulations on reaching the first of many anniversaries.

    I hope that you have as long and happy relationship as myself and my wife. We’ve just clocked up 25 years together and 22 married 😉

    How can you not like kids? I love them, especially with mashed potatoes and mushy peas 😉

    All the best Nikki, I hope you have many more years together. Chris sounds very conciderate and a perfect gent.

    Barry Wells recently posted..Add An Opt In Form To Every Post Then Triple Your Blog Traffic


    Nikki Reply:

    Hey Barry,

    Thank you – in some respects I’ve surprised myself that a year has passed already, but then time flies when you’re having fun!

    Wow – 25 years together – that’s incredible. You met when you were 2 then? :)

    Oh honestly, I’m really bad with children. Give me a cat, and I’m all over it (I am a mad old cat lady), but I have no idea what to do with a child (other than eating it as per your suggestion). *shudders* I’m just not a child-friendly person. I should come with a warning!

    Yes, Chris is a sweetie and he looks after me – that seems to be quite rare to find so I’m very grateful for him.

    Catch up with you soon,



  9. Sally
    Sally says:

    Hey Nikki

    No warning required… I am a lover of personal blog posts lol.

    So very totally sweet!

    I look forward to the free report on how to find love on facebook ha ha.

    Ok I am gonna do my comment in two ways…


    Yep, I am a commitment phobe too (as you know) hence the reason none of my relationships last very long lol, but… you give me faith that one day I shall meet THE ONE and all shall be well in Sally-ville.

    I really did feel all warm and fuzzy after reading this, maybe from the flu tablets, but none the less, I loved it x


    Because I have now seen and listened to you several times, offline and in your latest videos… I actually hear your voice as I read your blog post, that’s super powerful – your voice is shining through in your writing, well done.

    Really sweet blog post posh girl…catch ya later, Sally :) x

    ps. Chris… thanks for making our Nikki so happy :) xxx
    Sally recently posted..Learn With Sally… Four Webinars And A Funnel


    Nikki Reply:

    Ha ha – a report on finding love on Facebook – yeah, I’m not sure I’m qualified to teach other people about relationships! Still, I’m doing well with this one, so that’s a good thing.

    It’s funny, I normally (or rather, previously) got bored with the relationships I was in (if they could even be called that). I didn’t want to commit my time or my energy into them as I couldn’t see the point.

    With Chris, it’s all just happened without either of us having to work at it – it’s been a very natural progression throughout our relationship. Nothing is forced, and neither of us has to compromise. We’re both just mad together and it works!

    Actually, Chris updated his status on Facebook the other day and this is part of what he said (Sally, I know you’ve seen this anyway as you commented on it):

    “I just thought I would put a quick post on here to say to my Sweet that I love her very much and I appreciate everything she does for me and brings to my life. It has been an amazing year and I look forward to many more.”

    I’ve never had anyone in my life before that’s been willing to make a public declaration of love and affection to me like this, let alone how well we get on together all the time.

    As for the marketing aspect of this – ah, so you read this post in a posh voice then! Maybe I should have narrated the post so that you could all listen to me speaking again.

    Catch up with you soon, hope you’re feeling better!



  10. Robyn
    Robyn says:

    Hi Nikki,

    Congratulations on your 1st Anniversary. Chris sounds like a great ‘catch’. Life is what you make it and by the sounds of things, life is pretty good for you right now. Love the fact that you took it slow and built the friendship first, plus he loves tea and cats, what more could you want. After one year I think you know that this is serious, so best wishes to you both. I wish you both a great life full of tea, cats and travelling – wow what a life.

    I met my other half when he started working the same place I did. We got to know each other before any relationship started and then we took it from there. We have been together ever since. He was (is) a smoker, something I don’t like but have accepted over the years. He didn’t want children to begin with but slowly came around to the idea. Life doesn’t always go the way you want, we had many miscarriages before we eventually became parents. We now have a daughter who is nearly 13, who we love to bits.

    Take each day as it comes, enjoy each day and live for tomorrow.

    Best wishes to you both.

    Robyn recently posted..What Will You Do Today?


    Nikki Reply:

    Hey Robyn,

    A life full of tea & cats – yes, that sounds great to me!! Thank you for your congratulations. The friendship part of it is vital to me – if I can’t get on with someone as a friend, then what’s the point? I think friendship is a great foundation to build a relationship upon.

    I’m glad that everything worked out for you and your family, thanks for sharing your story here. The more I hear, the more it seems things happen when you least expect them and despite any objections one may have (e.g. my list of things I didn’t want).

    Speak soon,



  11. Kathy Dobson
    Kathy Dobson says:

    I loved that you shared a personal post 😉
    This is what really connects people and now I know and understand so much more about you that in the near future I think I will do a personal post revealing a bit about me 😉

    You seem so happy girl…and if you’ve found someone you enjoy playing with then you have it all.

    You are so right about putting restrictions on what we like and don’t about others…perhaps that is why we end up with exactly that…
    to learn out lesson 😉

    Loved it…
    Kathy Dobson recently posted..Niche Blogging Success


    Nikki Reply:

    Hey Kathy,

    I’m glad you enjoyed my personal post. I certainly wasn’t expecting such positive feedback about it, but I’m now really glad that I did it. You’re right, it gives a better insight into the person behind the blog, and if that all adds to building better relationships then I’m happy with that!

    Yes, I am happy – I was before as I’ve always been happy in my own company, but now I have my partner in crime to share my life and all these random experiences with, and I’ve discovered it’s even more fun to be able to do that!

    Catch up with you soon,



  12. Terry Conti
    Terry Conti says:

    Hey Nikki,

    You just can’t figure life out sometimes, it’s such a funny thing. Reading your post makes me realize that anything is possible.

    Even if you go around being very cautious, things may work out or not so one needs to lighten up a bit, be a little more open minded and see where it goes and take life in as it comes.

    I am happy to know you are happy and wish you and Chris the very best. May your days be always filled with sunshine.

    Terry Conti
    Terry Conti recently posted..Getting Through the Rain


    Nikki Reply:

    Hey Terry,

    I don’t know about anything being possible, but actually, if a commitment-phobe like me can find someone that loves me for who I am and who accepts my craziness, then actually you may be right – pigs may fly!!

    I’ve always been very relaxed about that sort of thing – I guess because I don’t want children I don’t have the biological clock ticking telling me to settle down (unlike a lot of my friends). So I was always fairly take-it-or-leave-it about the whole relationship thing.

    I’m now guessing that’s just because I hadn’t met someone that I get on with as well as Chris…who knows!

    How is your dad at the moment, is there any progress there?

    I’ll pop over to your blog soon to get the latest updates.

    Speak soon,



  13. Nikki
    Nikki says:

    Firstly, I would like to thank you all for your good wishes above – and secondly, I’d like to apologise for the length of the delay in replying to you. I’ve been away from the computer for a week so I’ve got a lot of catching up to do!!



  14. Stephen Bray
    Stephen Bray says:

    This is a wonderful share, and a great message. Not everyone wants children, nor does living without them mean people necessarily feel unfulfilled.

    Taking risks without being foolhardy is the mark of a leader.



    Nikki Reply:

    Hey Stephen,

    Long time no see! How are things with you?

    I’m glad you enjoyed this post. It’s rather personal but then again I guess that just shows that I am human (occasionally!).

    Taking risks without being foolhardy…hmm, I’m not sure I can quite claim that, but I do try!

    Thanks for coming over here and commenting.

    Speak soon,




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